When the Saints Go Marching...

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal." --Pope John Paul II

The saints understood that--they all seemed to emanate the love of Jesus by their lives and their words and actions. Everything they did, they did out of love for Him. We are all called to be saints, and the beauty is that we all can be. We cannot do it on our own, but by His grace. If we truly desire it, if we truly desire to arrive at that point where we emanate light, love, and truth, God's grace will do it for us. He will transform us into saints that spend happily ever after with Him. But it won't be easy.

None of the saints lived perfectly comfortable, blissful lives. They fought, they preached, they cared for the sick, they gave of themselves out of love. Pope John Paul II is not yet a saint, but his leadership of the Church changed many hearts and encouraged growth and unity among the people. Sometimes as we thirst for holiness, we lose faith, we have doubts, or we flat out want to quit. But it is important for us to remember that the saints struggled with the same doubts and fears and weariness that we go through. They were human, just like us. Yet they rose above their physical boundaries and marched forth, searching for the truth they desired, the love they knew would be the only thing that would satisfy them.

When we struggle or lose hope or tire of our own failings, we can look to the saints for guidance. With the grace of God, they were able to keep marching on through the hardships. Despite discouragement, heartache, pain, fear, and doubt, they kept marching to His heartbeat. If we do the same, if we all continue to march in this way to sainthood, the world will have its happily ever after.

A Love Letter

Last week, I became frustrated with myself for falling once again into an annoying habitual sin that I had confessed only a week and a half ago. I knew that God would forgive me once again in His infinite mercy, but because of my schedule, I didn't think I would get to go to confession for another month. Saddened by the thought, I continued on to daily Mass early for a little extra preparation. When I walked in the Church, a priest was hearing confessions for a handful of people who had asked him. I slipped into line and received the sacrament, feeling God's mercy washing over me.

I was so thankful and so humbled that the Lord wanted to purify me as much as I wanted to be purified. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I knelt and prayed before Mass. I imagined myself as the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair, thanking Jesus for His infinite mercy. The days following my confession were difficult, as if God used the little sufferings of my days to continue to purify my heart and offer me opportunities for reparation. I failed to see this until I was at Mass today and heard the Gospel of the woman washing Jesus' feet with her tears. It was like a little love letter from Jesus--a correspondence between two hearts.

This is not the first time an opportunity for confession opened itself up to me in such an immediate way, but all of this confirmed in me the necessity to have humble confidence in His Divine Mercy. I see in a new light how our Lord thirsts for us, and longs for us to come to him in this sacrament of Reconciliation. One night when my heart hurt from the pain of my love being rejected, I cried out to Jesus. He responded gently, "I know how you feel. That is how I feel for every soul who rejects My Love." I saw Him on the cross, thirsting for love. Just as I--and maybe you--thirst for the love of another human being, He thirsts for the love of all of us.

He told St. Faustina: "The flames of mercy are burning Me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!" He tells us this, encouraging us to come to Him with our miseries, our habitual sins, our weakness, our attachments. He desires to lavish His love and His mercy upon us. He finds rest in forgiving us, since He is able to pour out His love on us. His flames of mercy transform evil into something good. No sin is too big or too bad for the fire of His love.

I thirst.

As my thesis consumes my life, I find myself able only to think of vampire jokes (I'm writing a Catholic woman's perspective on the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer). I am going a little bit crazy inside this fantasy world, and I cannot wait to turn the paper in and escape back into reality!

Here is the irony of my life: I have been struggling to find a good intro, something from which the rest of my paper may flow. I am focusing on dreams and realities, and how the ultimate dream is to have eternal life, happily ever after with the One True Love. For a week I have been struggling to put my 20 pages of notes into coherent order. Today, I sat looking at a crucifix, telling God to speak through me. That's when I heard Jesus' last words whisper in my heart: "I thirst."

Duh.

I remembered a story I began to write in high school. It was a story based on my life, but I intended to make it more interesting. But it was the story of a girl seeking truth and love. I entitled it: "I Thirst: The story of a dry-cleaner's daughter." Of course, I thought the title was hilariously ironic because of its profound truth in my life. And suddenly, remembering that desire for truth and love at the age of seventeen made everything click together for me.

It makes sense: vampires thirst for blood, girls thirst for love, Jesus thirsts for us. Anyway, I have about 25 pages to write concerning all of this thirstiness. I just thought I'd share the revelation, as a little something to reflect on.

Love, love, love.