Where the Wild Rose Blooms....

One of my favorite images that Immaculee used to tell her story is that of planting seeds. My mom would always talk about that when I was growing up. Whenever I was made fun of or looked down upon for standing up for my beliefs, she would remind me, "You're just planting seeds. God will make them grow in His own time. You just have to trust in Him."

Trust. Isn't that one of the hardest things for us as humans, to give ourselves over in total surrender to God? And yet, it is the most important. In my experience that I wrote about in my first post, "The Single Purpose," I struggled a lot with the why. Why did God let this happen? I had prayed to Him to keep me from falling again, to keep my head above water so that I wouldn't drown in my dreams. I wanted to keep a firm grip on reality, and I prayed to Him for that. But I still fell. I couldn't understand why. I have never believed in unanswered prayers. I believe that God will sometimes tell us "No" in answer, but He never just leaves us hanging. So this was a particularly difficult one to grasp. I had asked God to prevent me from falling--something I know He was capable of doing. And yet, He allowed me to fall. Why?

I sought the answer. I decided to allow a small group of people pray with me about this. I had a void in my heart where my friend used to be, and I had been asking God to fill it, but I still felt so empty. The people told me that God is the Father, and sometimes He allows His children to suffer loneliness to remind them of heaven. This pain does not exist there, and all we need in order to get there is Him. Even if we can't see the earthly purpose for this pain, we have to trust that there is a purpose. Then they described the heart as a garden: Your heart is a garden, full of beautiful flowers of every kind--these are the things about you that make you beautiful. But there is still a plot that is only soil--this is the void you feel. To you, it is only a patch of dirt. You want something to grow here, but God is still preparing it. He is using your pain to fertilize the seeds beneath the soil, so that when the time comes, it will be the most fruitful and the most beautiful. You only need to ask God to come and fill this soil, to let Him shine His light and shower His graces on the soil. It is here that the wild rose will bloom!

I had so much peace after that, but there was still something I wasn't getting. About a week later, in the quiet of the night, I begged God for peace. I told Him that I understood there must be a purpose for this pain, that I knew He would make something beautiful grow there, but I was still so confused about why it had to happen the way it did. In that desperate hour, He allowed my heart to see. "You are Mine," He whispered. I cried and told Him, "I know, yes, I am Yours!" And then He said, "You would not trust Me." And there it was. Everything fell into place. I had presented Him with my desire for love, marriage, a family. He had told me I would have these things, but not yet. He wanted me to remain with Him on the beach a little while longer, but I was ready to plunge right in the crashing waves. I had said, like a spoiled, selfish child, "I want this, and I want it now." I could not give Him that trust that He wanted. I could not understand why He wanted me to wait when I was content to just settle down right then. But He said to me that night, "I have more for you."

There is so much joy, peace, and freedom in believing and trusting that the Lord has greater plans for us than we have for ourselves. It does not eliminate the pain, but it makes it bearable. Just as our love for God makes His pain on the cross bearable. When we embrace our crosses as He embraced His, we comfort Him, giving Him a purpose for the pain. A perfect prayer to say throughout the day when you begin to feel hopelessness creep in: "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).

Also, I am surprised this hasn't come out yet, but I am a huge music buff. My dad always had a song for every occasion, so I suppose I got my passion for it from him. So, I will often have songs and lyrics to share with you. For this particular post, there is a beautiful Matt Maher song that I recently discovered that corresponds with this called "You Were On The Cross." He sings, "Where were You when all that I dreamed came crashing down in shambles around me? You were on the cross." I encourage you to look up the song! It really says everything!

Jesus, I trust in You!

...and world peace!

Last night, I had the beautiful opportunity to hear a living saint tell her story.

Immaculee Ilibagiza is a survivor of the Rwandan genocide that killed one million people in 1994. Her bestselling book, Left To Tell, tells the story of how she survived, hiding in a bathroom with seven other women for 91 days. At one point during that time, the home she hid in was thoroughly searched. As they searched, she prayed to God for a sign, that if He were really there, the men would not find them. The last room the men went to check was the bathroom. They touched the doorknob, but instead of opening the door, they said to the man of the house, "We trust you," and they left. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is!

Immaculee prayed the rosary for 12 to 13 hours every day. She began to truly pray the prayers from her heart. What was most difficult for her to say was the Our Father. She did not see the Father as the Father of the enemy. But as she continued to pray, she heard God say to her repeatedly, "They are my children too." Slowly, she accepted that, but still, she could not pray with her heart the words, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Sitting in that bathroom, hungry, weak, and afraid, she thought it impossible to forgive. She tried to leave out those words of the prayer, but soon heard God saying to her, "My Son gave you those words, not man." So she prayed to God that if it were possible to forgive the enemy, to forgive the men who were out there killing her family and her people, who might show up at any time to kill her, He would have to show her how. Finally one day, while meditating on the fifth Sorrowful Mystery, she spoke of how she imagined herself with Jesus, embracing Him on the cross, weeping for Him, letting His blood wash her clean, and she heard, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Naturally, she found herself saying, "How can you? How can you forgive these people as they kill you?" And the answer is there in His final breath, "They know not what they do." Immaculee spoke of her desire to hold on to hate and anger. But God touched her heart, and she allowed His Mercy to wash her clean, to pour through her, so that she could forgive the men who killed her family.

Seriously? Amazing. She now travels around the world, speaking on peace, love, and forgiveness. As Christians, it is our vocation to love! It is often so difficult in this modern world to actually live that love, but she is living, breathing proof that it is possible. With God, anything is possible! It was truly inspiring to see the peace and the freedom she found in forgiveness emanating from her very presence. How much we can learn from her example, by forgiving those who have hurt us in the past, be it family members, ex boyfriends, old friends. Her story shares with us the key to world peace: love and forgiveness! Wouldn't it be beautiful if we, as a nation, could forgive the terrorist attacks of 9/11? If we could forgive the Holocaust? If we could forgive abortionists? If we could forgive murderers and rapists? It is important for us to remember that it is all about love! Immaculee spoke of planting seeds, that we never know what beautiful fruit God will grow from our tiny little seeds of faith. Already she has touched millions of lives with her story! Let us be little sowers of seeds of love!

Oh, there is so much I could say about her! You can be sure I'll mention her in the future, but for now, you can find more information on Immaculee and her story by visiting her website http://www.immaculee.com/, reading her book (which I plan to do over Easter break), and becoming a fan on Facebook! Of course, the best way to learn about her is to follow her example in love and forgiveness!